it is with a combination of trepidation and fond kinship that I formally announce B0.75's formal submission of application to the Poopy Pants Combined Armed Forces, entering rank of corporal.
for a while it had appeared that he would be comfortable serving in a merely advisory or consultating capacity, ready to deploy should there be an acute lack of stank or a particularly welcome run of manageable diapers somewhere. he has made it clear, however, that he intends to be more directly involved in operations going forward.
I can only hope that he will advance up the ranks as successfully as mini-Vita The First--whose stellar career, though still early, remains a testament to the wisdom and nurturing success of your loving guidance.
