This is, as usual, outstanding.

One thing you omitted is the enhancement (I initially wrote improvement but I’m not sure it’s an improvement) of the language that comes from riding the bus.

I say this as a guy who never rode the bus. I walked to my catholic school and all other schools throughout my childhood. I lived in a cow town that wasn’t big enough for me to need bussing. The farm kids needed bussing (and the kids from east of town were struck by a train on their way to school in 1961–the source of the requirement that school busses stop at railroad crossings).

My wife, on the other hand, rode a bus every day of her life in a variety of New Jersey burgs and burroughs and had the same feeling as your parents—get the kids on the bus.

I’ll never forget my son’s first day on the bus as a six year old (having unfortunately gone to a private kindergarten he had to wait an extra year to enjoy this institution). My wife asked him how his day was and he said “Good. Mom what’s a “fuck”?” I froze, completely uncertain where to go from there. In my house as a child, any expletive brought a rapid retribution—usually a slap to the face/head. I chose not to take that path with my kids but was uncertain how to proceed.

My wife proved her mettle that day—she remains what I consider to be THE model mom for a number of reasons but she was built for moments like this.

As I sat there speechless, she simply said “can you use that in a sentence?” Goddam genius.

The boy responded “this kid on the bus told me to ‘shut the fuck up and I didn’t know what a fuck was or how to shut it”.

She explained that fuck has a lot of meanings and that it was a private word that shouldn’t be repeated in front of teachers or other adults.

My kids swear like sailors and I’m certain their time on the school bus is the reason. I remain jealous of those who were lucky enough to ride the bus.