We're all ignoring one important thing here

We're all ignoring one important thing here
by eddysorin (2021-09-24 19:31:17)

Which is that we are playing Wisconsin - and Wisconsin fucking blows.

This is just the kind of game that Wisconsin loses – a bright lights, big city match up against a nationally ranked non-conference opponent that doesn’t “play by the rules”, instead countering their pasty white farm boy offensive lineman with real African American athletes who, rather than engaging - grunting and clawing at the point of attack – simply run around their porky pylons to deliver TFLs.

Wisconsin is the rube who cruises into Chicago for a big city weekend on the Amtrak and gets his wallet lifted before he can get out of Union Station onto Canal Street. Then calls his parents to Venmo the cover charge for Mothers.

Wisconsin only performs well in the comfortable confines of their Class AA minor league embarrassment of a stadium – a creaky relic that most large Texas high schools wouldn’t use for a practice field.

Even the name, “Camp Randall”, conjures up visions of bad adolescent overnight sleepaways, punctuated by mosquitos, hazing, mononucleosis, and lecherous camp counselors gazing through shower peepholes.

The team performs best in front of the home faithful, which worship as a single, unified beer-soaked, Bob Evans sausage digesting, foul-breathed undulating lipid sea of co-morbidities, Body Mass Index infinity. If you’ve ever wanted to see 80,000 people belch Bo Deans tunes in unison, Camp Randall is certainly the place for you.

The only people who think Wisconsin can win this game are those who haven’t seen them repeatedly fail to win just this type of game.

To those people I have some advice - 6.5 points on this game, and breath mints, have one thing in common: They should never be refused when offered.

That was awesome but ease up on the BoDeans *

A notably witless post *

What a load of crap!

I hope the Irish win by 28 but this post sucks.

Tell us how you really feel

I'm hoping you are spot on in your synopsis.

Wisconsin rules *

That may all be true but we have Brian Kelly *

But will there be "jump around" in Chicago? *

Yes. This is technically a home game for Wisconsin.

When we play at Lambeau Field, we will be the home team. One wonders if we will have some cheap filler song by then to imitate the others.

Not sure of the song but jump around, hold your breath until

you're purple in the face.

Golf clap *

You OK, Father?

Maybe lay off the hard stuff tonight.

We’re just as likely to get our asses kicked.

Kelly-coached teams aren’t exactly in their element in these types games either.

And your African American comments are just dumb.

Yeah, some of that was just embarrassing. *

Not a single reference to cheese.

Kinda disappointed.