"I just have to say, what you did back there in that

How much time did you take off?

I took a day off per kid. Now, I live 5 miles from my office. And I went home often. But I sure as shit didn't take paternity leave for two months.

I took every Friday off for 18 months. But - I owned the

company I worked for and it was a consulting company. There was/is no concept of vacation. You just take whatever time you want off as long as it doesn't adversely affect a project and you in effect give yourself a pay cut by losing money tied to your billable hours.

I surrendered one billable day per week for 78 weeks. However, I also was out of town the other 4 days per week, so home zero hours per day those other days.

I went back to work the day my kids were born

Those little fuckers are expensive as shit.

I can’t imagine what you two went through while maintaining

Sanity

First kid I was still a federal employee

And used my 10 weeks of accrued sick leave plus two weeks of vacation.

Second kid was a small firm, I asked to take a couple weeks off unpaid and they said they'd rather have me work part time for that couple weeks and don't worry about a specific number, then at the subsequent annual review they criticized my hours for that month.

Third kid was mid-size firm and I took 2 days off, mixed in the remainder of my 80 hours over the next couple months and my work from the older partner dried up while I ran myself on the verge of exhaustion for the two months after the baby was born. Told them in my exit interview that paternity leave needs revamping.

If I got 12 weeks I'd take it. I can see going back at 3 or 4 weeks in specific situations, but that's heavily dependent on the wife's situation and family support on hand. Edit: but even so, hugely disparate male/female leave policies creates a lot of bias against mom employees from all levels of the organization. And that harken back to my point about perceptions.

To each his own

I took a day or two. I wanted to build something so that when the kids were older I had the free time. I also didn't take a honeymoon, though to be fair I was married in a different state and took 3 days off to travel there.

Now I work mostly from home and only go in for about 10 hours a week and have a ton of free time for my teenagers and wife

holy shit *

The 10 weeks was use or lose at that point because

I was leaving for career advancement afterward. It was an accrued benefit and I cashed it.

I'm back to work this week after 16 weeks

Actually, just 14. I'm banking the last 2 weeks for the spring.

I'm a guy.

That's awesome. *

Newborns sleep a lot *

So it’s not awesome? *

Sitting at home is not awesome, no. *

The rest of us aren’t looking for “handy excuses” for our

wives to do everything.

Not everything

She didn’t guilt me into sitting around in my sweatpants for 2.5 months.

I bet you quit drinking during her pregnancy too. Out of solidarity.

Ok boomer. *

I know what you did for 10 weeks

It is not a two person job. The entire world knows. Unless your wife went back to work.