Wife wants to go to Ann Arbor for a baby shower USC Weekend
by Lambconnection (2017-09-12 14:03:15)
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We just got married 9 days ago so I guess she's already trying to test the strength of our bond. The woman who is having the baby is a family friend of my wife's and was our photographer at the wedding. Her sister is a USC grad.

One the one hand, I hate baby showers and don't think I should be expected to go, I would be fine if I never stepped in Ann Arbor ever, and I don't like the idea of watching the game with an SC fan (I have a tendency to be less than tactful when watching any ND game, much less USC in Ann Arbor with an SC fan).

On the other hand, I feel somewhat obligated because she did a great job on our wedding photography for a more than reasonable price and more importantly I wish to please my new bride.

Any advice oh wise BR?


Are you sure invitation was not for an exorcism? *
by Frank Drebin  (2017-09-12 20:52:38)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post


"Have fun darling. Love you"
by airborneirish  (2017-09-12 20:50:03)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

Then do whatever you want. I have 6 kids and support my wife in her career and interests. That said if you don't want to do something and aren't encumbered by children enjoy some free time while you got it.


Update
by Lambconnection  (2017-09-12 16:43:01)     cannot delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

Apparently I was making a mountain out of a mole hill. I expressed my concerns about paying to fly me to a baby shower and she said she would be happy to go by herself.

Unless she's laying some elaborate trap I should be ok (that's mostly a joke, I'm pretty sure I know her well enough at this point that I was just making a big deal out of nothing.)


general_Akbar_ItsATrap.jpeg *
by ndlarryj  (2017-09-12 19:00:54)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post


Text her every few hours to see how things are going.
by G.K.Chesterton  (2017-09-12 18:06:12)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

Score updates are optional.


You married well. *
by VTND  (2017-09-12 17:22:52)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post


That's good. Just watching the game at home alone still
by IAND75  (2017-09-12 16:52:22)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

qualifies for significant indulgence and time off purgatory. Just not as much as attending a baby shower and/or visiting Ann Arbor.


Basic catechism.
by IAND75  (2017-09-12 16:40:25)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

Time in hell (on earth) earns major time off in purgatory.


I thought the flying part was a joke.
by BigNDfan  (2017-09-12 16:36:57)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

Wow.


Tear your ACL, slip a disc, get a concussion...
by wildesilas  (2017-09-12 16:32:41)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

ANYTHING to avoid going to a baby shower! Just don't do it. Ever.


Thanks for the advice
by Lambconnection  (2017-09-12 16:14:23)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

I plan on talking to her about it tonight. I'm not sure why she wants me to go anyway. She would not be alone as I believe her mother and sister are planning to go. I think it would be a waste of money for me to pay to fly to a baby shower.


Whatever you decide, check her innoculations first. *
by Jess  (2017-09-12 15:57:23)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post


Drop her off at the AA/Ypsi border - Call Uber- Reverse this
by jammer  (2017-09-12 15:41:34)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

Process after the Shower -

USC is a night game -
Go to the "SideTrack Bar" in Ypsilanti & watch the ND/USC game as long as You
can study the action at ND Stadium

Otherwise you may be in for a Very Long night if you watch the game with a
USC Fan.

This is a Test by your beloved bride!!


You don't go on principle.
by 01momanor  (2017-09-12 15:36:13)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

She's trying to cut your damn balls off and keep them in her purse until you die. You are a man. You don't go to baby showers. Notre Dame getting crushed like a bug by USC has nothing to do with this.


[shudder} Good Lord, man.
by ndwineaux  (2017-09-12 15:27:59)     cannot delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

That subject line is the description of the 9th Circle of Hell, led by tour guide, Mitch Albom.


Whenever I see a picture of him I think of this:
by thersh  (2017-09-12 22:06:07)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post


You already missed your chance to make this no big deal
by pmcdnd96  (2017-09-12 15:18:29)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

How it should have gone:

Wife: Honey, Jenny is having a baby shower XYZ weekend
You: Cool
Wife: Let's go
You: I hate showers and have no interest in going.

That would have put her in the position of trying to convince you to do something. Instead, you're in a position of trying to convince her that you shouldn't have to.

My actual advice: If you want to go, go. If you don't want to go, don't go. But don't set the precedent now that your wife gets to make all decisions for you just because you want to please her. Of course you want to please her, as that's your job as her husband. But that road has to go both ways or you are going to be miserable. If you don't want to go, say "Listen, honey, I need to tell you something. I really don't want to go. Showers are not fun. Do you REALLY need me there?" You then do whatever she says. But at least you've made your point and it's clear you're "taking one for the team" and not just doing what is automatically expected.


"Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the Church." *
by The Flash  (2017-09-12 15:16:35)     cannot delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post


I don't recall the Church ordering Christ about. *
by beattherush  (2017-09-13 04:29:38)     cannot delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post


No, but they whined aplenty, and he appeased. *
by The Flash  (2017-09-13 16:54:54)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post


Wives should be subordinate to their husbands as to the Lord *
by John88  (2017-09-12 16:13:43)     cannot delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post


now get in the kitchen and make me a chicken pot pie *
by abqgant  (2017-09-12 21:19:05)     cannot delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post


Quick and easy before she rushes out the door to the shower *
by The Flash  (2017-09-13 17:00:06)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post


Jesus never attended a baby shower
by ShillelaghHugger  (2017-09-12 16:01:24)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

He did show up to a wedding and fix the booze situation


Only on Sunday? *
by Angel  (2017-09-12 15:16:57)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post


What everyone else said
by maniactranspodriver  (2017-09-12 15:15:17)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

So glad I'm single again and don't have to deal with such conflicts anymore. In my case it was the ex-nephew's birthday party which always coincided with the first or second Saturday of football season. Snooty ex-brother and sister-in-law did not deem guest entertainment in the form of televised sporting events especially football as proper.


Since when do men go to baby showers?
by BigNDfan  (2017-09-12 15:10:38)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

I'm serious, I've never been asked to attend a baby shower. Nor would I ever attend one. I didn't even attend my own kid's baby showers. And there wasn't a single male in attendance.


Give her the Thousand Yard Stare
by mkovac  (2017-09-12 15:09:11)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

No reason to get excited
kovac, he kindly spoke
There are many here among us
Who feel that wife is but a joke
But you and I, we've been through that
And this is not our fate
So let us not talk falsely now
The hour is getting late


This isn't about a shower or a football game.
by GailStanwyck  (2017-09-12 15:09:00)     cannot delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

Do not start your marriage with the expectation that the two of you are joined at the hip. Sit down and have a conversation about how you both feel about separate friends, separate interests, separate trips (hint: you should have all of them).

You married a grown adult woman who should be able to travel on her own to see people who are her friends, not yours. You paid this photographer friend and presumably thanked her for the fine job she did. Your obligations to her are met, on that front.


Also, how have you handled these issues before marriage?
by Angel  (2017-09-12 15:15:18)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

If you were both capable of doing (friend or whatever) things alone 9 days ago, you still are now.

That sounds more snarky than I intended, but unless there are issues with travel/social anxiety etc (which still doesn't mean you have to be joined at the hip, it means she needs professional help and support) then separate interests can and should continue.


You know what needs to be done. Find a good lawyer. *
by seano  (2017-09-12 14:57:46)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post


I've never heard of a man being expected to attend a baby
by 3rdst  (2017-09-12 14:36:55)     cannot delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

shower, even one for their own kids. Nineteen years of marriage and three kids, and I've yet to go to one. Tell her to 'have fun' and go watch the game where you want.


Drive a few minutes to central Phx
by ShillelaghHugger  (2017-09-12 16:05:35)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

where I get invited to them on a regular basis.

I'm stared at like a troll when I quickly insist that I will not be attending.

Worse, people are now trying to trick dudes into going by disguising them as BBQs or other such parties when, in fact, they plan on doing silly games and presents.


you're an insenthitive brute *
by abqgant  (2017-09-12 14:54:40)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post


Fake your own death. *
by buffaloirish  (2017-09-12 14:35:45)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post


9 days.....try getting marriage annulled.
by Jcali  (2017-09-12 14:26:50)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

She's showing her true colors. You don't want to deal with these types of situations your entire life. It's best to jump ship early.

Is the sister (USC grad) hot? If so it's never to early to start laying the groundwork.


nip this crap in the bud "have a nice time honey" *
by abqgant  (2017-09-12 14:26:40)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post


Skip the game. Assume now that we will get trucked.
by VTND  (2017-09-12 14:19:50)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

This is like a wedding gift from Brian Kelly. Head to Ann Arbor, which is actually a nice little college town, for a getaway with your new bride. Don't watch the game, don't track it on your phone, pretend that it doesn't even exist. Check the score only after you can be sure that it's over. If, by some miracle from on high, we win, you can always go back and watch it later.


Clean the house tomorrow, make her dinner (or take her
by akaRonMexico  (2017-09-12 14:11:42)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

out if you suck at cooking) and then calmly tell her that you won't be joining her at the baby shower. Don't make excuses, just tell her that there is no reason for you to attend such an event.


Ann Arbor isn't the problem.
by OCND  (2017-09-12 14:07:41)     cannot delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

It's actually a great little city, and I enjoy going there very much.

You should not be expected to attend baby showers. The relatively recent trend of "couples showers" is a pox on humanity.


This is my main problem with it
by Lambconnection  (2017-09-12 14:12:28)     cannot delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

Why spend money on a plane ticket to go to an event I don't want to be at in the first place?


You would have to fly?
by BottleofRed  (2017-09-12 15:35:23)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

There's no way I'm spending the time and money to go to a baby shower that necessitates flying. For anyone. She can go if she wants, but I think a gift is sufficient. Furthermore, now would be the time to establish mutually agreed upon parameters in the category of "we don't have to do everything together."


Your profile says Mishawaka
by pmcdnd96  (2017-09-12 14:58:05)     cannot delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

Isn't that like a 3 hour drive to Ann Arbor? It would take you longer to fly.


I'm not the one flying. He is. Of course I drive. *
by OCND  (2017-09-12 15:00:43)     cannot delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post


DUH! Fat fingers, wrong profile *
by pmcdnd96  (2017-09-12 15:05:10)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post


PLANE ticket?!
by emd811  (2017-09-12 14:48:12)     cannot delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

This is insane. I try to find excuses to skip local baby showers. I cannot imagine buying a plane ticket to one. And I'm a girl.

Guys should not ever be obligated to attend baby showers. Or wedding showers. Or sprinkles.


Agree wholeheartedly
by GU82ND4ever  (2017-09-12 18:40:36)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

I can't imagine flying anywhere for a baby shower unless the honoree was an immediate family member, and even then, it's not obligatory. I'm a girl, too. Lamb, stay home and watch the game.


Let her go. *
by John88  (2017-09-12 14:06:48)     cannot delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post


‎✔+ *
by ThreeD  (2017-09-12 14:24:13)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post


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