I get that internal tug-of-war.

I have two kids.

Lincoln plays soccer, baseball, and basketball. To his credit, he almost always has a ball in his hand: At home, at Pre-K, at Nana's, when we go watch a game. He is constantly throwing, catching, kicking, or hitting a ball. He played teeball last spring at age 4 and I put him in coach pitch for the fall a month after he turned 5. He more than held his own last fall despite being the youngest kid in the league by a fair bit - He was in his first year of Pre-K and we had third graders on his team. He absolutely did not look out of place at any point and things come very naturally for him. He does work hard though - On a given night we are either in our yard hitting or at a field. Even if it is 8:30 and 40 degrees I can't get him to leave. He just loves playing.

Kennedy is a little different story. She played soccer at age 4 and told me during the first practice, "Daddy, I don't think I like this. I'm sweaty." I made her finish the season but she was more into gymnastics than anything. She did make her way to volleyball when she turned six and does well there but picking up softball at the age of 8 put her behind girls on her team. Not to mention it is travel ball so it was more like light years behind. I kicked myself hard for not putting her in teeball to have her try it but in hindsight, she may have never gone to that practice last winter had I done that.

Kennedy's situation athletically is much different from Linc's. She is a lot like me - She will have to work and scrap to be even the 7th best kid on the team. But that is ok. I think what I felt in that moment last winter was fear more than anything. Fear that she is was going to go through what I did. Fear that kids were going to be mean to her if she didn't hit or throw as well as they do. Fear that she would be left out of things because she isn't a star. But to her credit, she has worked herself into the regular lineup. She isn't our best player but she is by far our best kid. She listens. She courtesy runs if we need her to. She gets the bats after other kids hit. She always sprints on and off the field. She never gives the coaches attitude.

One of our other coaches looked at me Sunday and said, "You have a great kid. Like extraordinary." I know I do. She is special. She just has to put in hours when some other kids can put in 20 minutes. I keep telling myself that will serve her well and I am a believer in work ethic over talent. She has also rubbed off on her brother. Now it is a competition when we hit - Who can put the ball on the ball more. Who hits the ball farther? Who can make more catches?

Working with those two at their craft is one of my greatest joys as a father. I love every second of it. I just wish I wasn't such a dickhead when things aren't where I think they should be. But I am learning that it is about what they want - not about what I want. As long as they are happy, healthy, and loved then they will thrive.

Parenting is hard and I am a work in progress. But we will get there.

I have no sage words of wisdom for you other than if you think the boy has some skill in a certain area, it is ok to push a little to see the response. If he responds well, you are on the right track. If he doesn't you can back off and let him choose his path. I am about to navigate those same things with my youngest - I just hard to guard against burning him out.