He went off early in the year to an SYR on the other end of campus. Most of us stayed in Flanner at the multitude of freshman parties. Late in the evening nearing 2, we are all back in a room hanging out and finishing off leftover drinks when the phone rings.
The guy who answers the phone gets everyone to quiet down so that he can hear his new freshman roommate drunkingly slur into the phone "help, you have to come get me. She tried to take my pants off." He repeated this a few times before hanging up.
We all had a pretty good laugh about it, and after about 30 minutes or so the guy's roommate decides to head out and find him. An hour or so later he returns with incredibly drunk roommate in tow. He was found curled up on a bench on God Quad.
Eventually we got the story out of him. He wasn't having the best time at the SYR so he decided to just booze instead. After awhile he was really loaded and trying to fend off her advances. His solution was to stumble back to her room and pretend to pass out on her couch. He thought it worked until he felt her hands trying to undo his pants. I forget how he got out of it. Maybe he faked a dry heave. Anyway, he managed to get to a phone and make the now infamous call for help.