In reply to: Some Hi-Jinks... posted by Hipster
Evening wear competition featured him in a sheet fashioned into Jesus-wear, a crown of thorns, and carrying a cross. A friend ran up to him, wiped his face, and showed the image of his face that was left on her towel. The image looked a lot like magic marker.
Swimsuit competition featured a devilish strip tease through what seemed like 10 layers of gym shorts and underwear until he reached the finale, cute little bikini shorts with a cartoon bear over the jewels.
Nobody wins without talent, so our contestant held his head under water (90 seconds, two minutes, something impressive like that) while leading the crowd in rounds of Row, Row, Row Your Boat. I also believe that some flammable (Right Guard) was sprayed on his person and ignited as sort of a cherry on the top of that talent sundae.
The crowd loved it. The judges hated it. The rector called him in for consultation the next day. Our section still won the Morrissey Olympics.