that. But please don't poke me in the eye.

I was a school psychologist for many years and I had about 8 interns over the years that I worked with. One had grown up in Ohio and was a Buckeye fan of sorts. He had a friend on one of Woody's teams who related the following story from a Buckeye practice that was in preparation for the Rose Bowl.
Woody was working on a goal line play and wanted tighter line splits. One of the tight ends listened and then lined up about a yard from the offensive tackle. Woody started yelling at him to get tighter, so he cut it down to about a two foot split. When he lined up with that split Woody started screaming at him again. Finally, the tight end asked him how big a split he wanted. Woody yelled back at him "the length of your dick!" So the QB called the play, the team broke the huddle and the TE lined up 1 1/2 feet from the tackle. Just as the team got set and the QB was about to call the signals, Woody ran up behind the tight end, kicked him in the butt and, as the TE tumbled head over tea kettle, yelled "Boy, you're lying to me!" I guess the place was in hysterics.

He puts the alligator on a bar stool and says, I'll bet ya'll two hunnerd I can put my pecker in this gator's mouth for two minutes.

The guys at the bar said, "Yer on!"

The man slammed the baby gator on the head and it opened its mouth.

The man pulled out his pecker and laid it on the gator's lower teeth and stood there for two minutes with the gator's mouth wide open.

At the end of the two minutes he pulled his pecker out of the gator's mouth and said, "I'll go double or nothin'. Anyone here thinks he can do that'll get my two hundred or ya'll gotta pay me four hunnerd."

One guy raises his hand and says, "I think I kin do it, 'cept I don't know if I kin keep my mouth open that long."

and you just might wind up becoming the head coach of a certain college football team in Columbus, Ohio, my friend.

when information was coming to light that the turtle's name was Urban Meyer.