If you get a disemboweling horn-gore injury under Obamacare, you're screwed.
Just speaking from experience.
then remove the sword from its eyeballs and hack its front legs.
When the crowd boos you for unfair play, give them all the finger and dare one of them to face off against a bull with a rapier.
Then take off your pants, give them another middle finger, harrumph loudly, and stalk out of the ring.
At least, that's how I did it.
Ferdinand The Bull is a huge hit in our house. Our copy is from the early 1960s. Frayed and tattered, but every bit as enjoyable as it was when it was first published. If your opponent is Ferdinand I think being a Matador is A-OK.
... who don't want to get old.
wear those clothes in public.
It's a vile pastime.
I can tell you're not American.
I ran with them in '92...it was a great experience. We went to the bull fights that night. People would ask about them and I would tell them, "the bulls don't have a chance"
Not this year. It was not in Pamplona, but it was during the timeframe of the festival that a guy was killed by the bull while his model girlfriend was in the stands. I don't know if the guy screwed up or the bull was extra strong/special/angry.
I know your original post was made in jest, but a matador's job is probably safer than driving out of a high school parking lot on Friday afternoon
At that moment, you realize that you're watching something entirely different than a normal sport (that is, if you haven't figured that out watching the previous bulls bleed out in the ring). Watching a man get flung in the air and impaled on a bull's horn in front of thousands of people is a rather unique experience. The matador got rewarded with the ears and tail after dispatching that bull. My one-year old daughter slept through it.
I'd go to San Fermin with you anytime
I love the culture and the excitement of the whole experience. You seem to be an adventurous type and also the type who would enjoy the passion of the whole thing
'92, we were in Europe for 80 days. London landing...up to Scotland, over to Ireland, up to Netherlands, Scandinavia, to Greece, then to Portugal....you get the idea. We were those four guys with backpacks, Eurrails, sleeping bags, and tents. We probably smelled the entire trip.
We arrived in Pamplona at 2:00 in the afternoon. We had no idea what we were doing and so we got roasted chickens and beers and sangria and partied while the rest of te town slept. We had no clue. The next morning we were raring to go to run with the Bulls. We were 22 years old. We do are deal and obey the rules....all except Jason. He keeps running through the exit and runs through the bull fight entrance with a bull on each side. He's 6'3" and 235 lbs. and looks like Hades running through Hell with a couple of "devil dogs" on each side. The next day, there are posters handing in the streets with him and the bulls on each side as he enterrs...it was that badass of a picture. (10 years later buddies return and the same posters are all over Pamplona...it was that badass of a scene). So we party all day long and then go to a bowl fight that night. We get two tickets quickly and have to negotiate for two more...it was a struggle until we find a regal looking gentleman who I negotiate with for 30 minutes before he tells me the tickets are free (damn my Spanish speaking teacher)
So I went back this past year. I hiked the Camino Trial for two and a half days with one of the buddies and we each brought our oldest daughter. The girls didn't care after the opening fireworks. They went back and spent the day using the condo's wifi. My buddy and I spent the day buying young people's calle mocho and beer (sort of re-paying people who bought us beer on our trip).
Pamplona and San Fermin is an absolute blast....certainly one of those "best parties on the planet" in early July moments. I happen to find Australians hilarious and their attitudes funny/wonderful. Well, you will find a million of them in Pamplona.
Sorry for the rambling, i just love Europe and all the crazy passionate things that people do over there.
I said "That's bull."