in northern lower Michigan somewhere off I-75. I was on my way back to South Bend and I just wanted to get home, so I pulled away from the window with my bag and got back on the highway. Comfortably ensconced in the left lane, I then proceeded to remove my sandwich from the bag and open it up. I took a bite, and was rather surprised to discover that my cheese was there, and all the appropriate condiments, but something was missing.
The beef. "Hmm. Where's the beef?" I wondered.
Naturally, I did what any sane person would do in similar circumstances: I used the turnaround in the median, promptly drove back to the Wendy's, pointed out the meatless burger, and killed everyone in the place.* The audacity.
* This last part isn't true. I didn't kill everyone. Just the girl at the counter.**
** That last part isn't true either. I didn't kill anyone. Except some bugs. Those things are impossible to avoid in Michigan in summer.